A community of Mixed Media and Altered Artists
Creativity and State of mind
Ok so, maybe some of you have noticed that I haven't been too active for a couple of weeks here and even a bit longer on yahoo groups. Some Really Bad Things have been going on here for a few weeks and the proverbial poop has finally hit the fan in the last two. I won't get into it, mostly because I've finally reduced the anxiety/panic attacks to just once a day or so and thinking about/dwelling upon is what provokes them.
I've even gotten to the point, in the last couple of days, that I have been able to say that at some point in the future, I may look back at this time and decide that it's one of the best things that could have happened.
The upshot of all this is that now, more than ever, I NEED to be creative, I need to produce and I need to get things posted to sell. But I can't. It's not because I have no ideas (I have sketchbooks full) or supplies (by the roomful) or inspiration (like keeping my utilities on and feeding my cats). I just don't have the wherewithal.
I know that people face adversity in different ways; some get angry and that prompts them to act; some go deep and find that wellspring that nourishes them; some (ie. me) fall into a heap on the floor and rock.
I'm frozen in inaction. I need to move.
What have you found yourself doing in circumstances such as this?
I've even gotten to the point, in the last couple of days, that I have been able to say that at some point in the future, I may look back at this time and decide that it's one of the best things that could have happened.
The upshot of all this is that now, more than ever, I NEED to be creative, I need to produce and I need to get things posted to sell. But I can't. It's not because I have no ideas (I have sketchbooks full) or supplies (by the roomful) or inspiration (like keeping my utilities on and feeding my cats). I just don't have the wherewithal.
I know that people face adversity in different ways; some get angry and that prompts them to act; some go deep and find that wellspring that nourishes them; some (ie. me) fall into a heap on the floor and rock.
I'm frozen in inaction. I need to move.
What have you found yourself doing in circumstances such as this?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Sharon Bruner on -
OMG, Sandi, This is so much the way I was over the past 2yrs.............actually the past 6 months I have been coming out of it. I also don't want to go into detail here.....too much crap and I'm not ready to have it taking hold of my mind again. I would go for days without even looking into my work room........I have a dear and very close friend that kept calling and encouraging me....trying to get me involved in some projects she was doing....but, by and large, I just had to keep praying for a clear mind and kept walking through it.....I would make myself at least go into my room and look at a project....I need to apologize to people I made "art" for over those months...I'm afraid to look at any pics of anything I may have sent to someone. My best advice is to find someone that you KNOW you can trust....because you need to voice those things that are keeping you tied up........also, MAKE yourself create SOMETHING at least once a week..........I know it's hard, but in the end your art is going to set you free from this mindhold...................
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Permalink Reply by Sandi Wedemeier on -
See? I knew this was a good place to bring this up. Luckily, I do have a very good friend who has been in this with me since the start of Suckitude. We chat daily by messenger while he's at work and then on the phone at night. He's my rock right now.
I did manage to make something yesterday and with that success, I'm going back at it again today. There's something oddly satisfying about making knots, especially odd since I'm working so hard at untangling the knots in my life.
I'm hoping, actually, to end my day with a piece or two for sale. Wish me luck...
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Permalink Reply by Stacie Williams on -
Ironic about the knots. Life's so full of irony sometimes. So if you need to do it to keep your lights on.....then it's time to get up & get it done. You'll make some time later to sit around & rock....now it's time to get up & get it done ;-)
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Permalink Reply by Sandi Wedemeier on
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Yup, it is time. I've 5 pieces completed now and just uploaded them here. I'm aiming at having another 5 to 10 pieces completed by week's end to start an etsy shop. My eyes seem to be able to hold out for about 3 beaded pieces a day...dang! when did the holes in beads get so small?!
I don't have exactly the supplies I wish I had...I'd prefer to use sterling silver and/or gold filled clasps, jumprings and bead tips, but that's just not possible right now, but my eye is on the prize...an order with Fire Mountain Gems.
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Permalink Reply by Stacie Williams on
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Hmmm....I'm running out the door now but let's talk about vendors. IMO there are different/ better sources than FMG. I'll catch up with you later tonight.
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Permalink Reply by Christy on -
Well I'm late to the discussion (what's new :) but I wanted to say from one artist to another hang in there! And as I tell my daughter "This too shall pass". Of course that is usually when I know that what she is feeling / dealing with just plain sucks and that there are no easy answers to some things.
As for when I feel like this how do I get through it?.... music and color. Even if it means I turn on the angriest music, or the sappiest music, whatever it is I'm feeling and for a short time I just let myself dwell in it. And I think about what color I am feeling right that minute... and I just grab that color and paint on blank paper with it, on newspaper, on torn out book pages, whatever I can until I either am exhausted, run out of paint (never) or do not want that color anymore.
So far there has never been anything it can't get me through.
If you need someone to IM you can reach me on AIM (GraphicThis) at anytime as I am home and at this computer all the time.
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Permalink Reply by Sandi Wedemeier on
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Thanks Christy...I keep forgetting "this too shall pass". Odd since I have a skeleton tattoo exactly to remind me of that. It has been helping to do something every day...even if it is making tiny knots in silk thread. All I have to do is find beads that match in size with the pearls and knot away.
I did cut up a couple of large sheets of watercolour paper yesterday to 6" x 6" size but got stumped when it came to doing backgrounds. So instead of fretting over *that*, I put it aside for today.
I'll try music today and go for my happy colour.
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Permalink Reply by Fairywebmother on
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I wish I had more time, today. I was just about to turn off the computer when I found this...but it hit home SO hard I just had to respond.
My life has felt like ashes, lately. Today I am feeling better, but it's been a process of remembering to follow my bliss...that it's OK to do that and not only that, but it always gets me to where I am supposed to be a lot quicker than "falling into a heap" which is exactly what I have been doing. Sometimes I'm so tired from the stress that it feels like I will never be able to create again...but then, as soon as I change my perception....just a little...obsticles begin to fall away and life improves.
I use meditation, incense and classical music to jumpstart myself back to my reality, which is, actually, very abundant...if I just remember to be grateful and count my blessings. I know this isn't always easy. I found out, last week, that my brother has lung cancer, so the last couple of weeks have been very black...but there are still blessings to count and doing so...and coming here...brings me back to center.
(((Light-filled Hugs)))
Bettina
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Permalink Reply by Jennifer Cobler on -
I don't put pressure on my self to "do art". I will do something else creative like redesign my flower beds, go to a historic part of the city and look and think about the architecture and what it was like "back then". I go on a hike in the woods, I dress up my dog(s) with silly things around the house, I exercise, I go to the zoo with my camera and zoom lens and "notice" the beauty and complexity of mother nature. I meditate, I sing silly made up songs with my daughter, I reorganize my studio.....any of those work for me because I usually find that when I am all up in my own head about stresses I can't control....my creativity turns off. With the experiences I listed I usually feel filled up with joy and curiousity...and that is what turns my art "light" on! Hope this helps. You have no idea how I understand what you are saying! :-) I will be sending you some positive vibes!!!!!! Take care of you.
-Jennifer
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